"If I don't take it seriously, then I don't have to be disappointed when it doesn't go well," she says. For now, her strategy is to keep a casual attitude about her romantic life. "If dating apps can actually play a role in groups and people getting together otherwise might not, that's really, really exciting," Hobley says.Ĭurtis says she is still conflicted about her own preferences and whether she'll continue to use dating apps. over the past 20 years has coincided with the rise of online dating. She also points to a recent study by international researchers that found that a rise in interracial marriages in the U.S. "Psychographics are things like what you're interested in, what moves you, what your passions are," Hobley says. Hobley says the site made changes over the years to encourage users to focus less on potential mates' demographics and appearance and more on what she calls "psychographics."
"But on the other hand, you have to wonder: If racism weren't so ingrained in our culture, would they have those preferences?" "I feel like there is room, honestly, to say, 'I have a preference for somebody who looks like this.' And if that person happens to be of a certain race, it's hard to blame somebody for that," Curtis says. After growing up in the mostly white town of Fort Collins, Colo., she says she exclusively dated white men until she moved to New York. What Makes Us Click From Bae To Submarining, The Lingo Of Online DatingĬurtis says she relates to that idea because she has had to come to terms with her own biases. And in a segregated society, that can be harder in certain areas than in others." "So people tend to be often attracted to the people that they are familiar with. " familiarity is a really big piece," Hobley says. Melissa Hobley, OkCupid's chief marketing officer, says the site has learned from social scientists about other reasons that people's dating preferences come off as racist, including the fact that they often reflect IRL - in real life - norms. Other dating experts have pointed to such stereotypes and lack of multiracial representation in the media as part of the likely reason that plenty of online daters have had discouraging experiences based on their race. Why might our dating preferences feel racist to others? "It made me feel like I wasn't enough, who I am wasn't what he expected, and that he wanted me to be somebody else based on my race." "He was like, 'Oh, so we have to bring the 'hood out of you, bring the ghetto out of you!' " Curtis recounts. Curtis describes meeting another white man on Tinder, who brought the weight of damaging racial stereotypes to their date.